peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
