HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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