holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
