took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
