I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
