When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
