You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
