lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
