Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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