We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
