I'm really into asian looking animals
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
