woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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