Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
