i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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