I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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