One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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