dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
