Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
