I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
