I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
