I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
