I want to walk on stilts...naked
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
