Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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