Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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