I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
