the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
