Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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