So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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