i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
