You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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