Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
