i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
