btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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