do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
