just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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