Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
