Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
