hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
