I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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