I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
