Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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