Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
