butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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