just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
