U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize