First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
