i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
