I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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