Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
