remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
