lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
