We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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