I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
