everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
