he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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