i jhust puked up my retainher.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
