bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
