If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
