I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize