He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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