I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
