We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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