you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
