____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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