Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
