Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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