dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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