Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
